Loosen the resistance
When it helps
When you're fighting against a feeling or situation and notice it's not getting better – this practice helps you see how the resistance itself adds to the problem. The goal isn't to like what's uncomfortable, but to release the extra pressure that comes from pushing back. Acceptance is understood here as relief.
How to practice
- Notice the pattern: Recall a situation in which you were fighting a state – for example lying awake ruminating. Feel the moment when the wish 'This has to stop now!' sets in.
- Locate it in the body: Where does this resistance show itself? Tightness, pressure, tension? Name the sensation inwardly, without judgment: 'There is pressure.'
- Observe the impulse: Notice the urge to immediately change or get rid of the feeling. Stay as an observer of this impulse for a moment, without following it or judging it.
- Give it space: Breathe consciously into the tension. Give the feeling room rather than pushing it away. With each exhale, the resistance can soften a little.
- Stop the fight: Allow the state to simply be there for this moment. You don't have to approve of it – it's enough to stop spending energy fighting the inevitable.
- Your impulse for today: If you notice yourself 'bracing' against a feeling today, pause briefly and ask: 'What happens in my body if I stop fighting for three breaths?'
Note: Resistance is often an automatic protection of the self. Loosening it doesn't mean giving up – it means ending the unnecessary stress that comes from pushing against what cannot be changed.