Discovering Your Own Values
When it helps
This method helps you gently examine your inner convictions. Many of our attitudes develop through family, school, or our environment – without us ever having consciously chosen them. The goal is to recognize which values you affirm today from the bottom of your heart, and which you may have simply adopted without examination.
How to practice
- Make values visible: Write down 5 to 10 values that shape your actions (e.g., security, freedom, achievement, harmony). Allow yourself to be completely honest, without judging what sounds 'good' or 'bad'.
- Explore the origin: Next to each value, note where it likely comes from. Was it a role model, your upbringing, or perhaps social pressure? How long have you carried this conviction?
- Check for currency: Ask yourself about each point: Does this value correspond to who I am today? Does it give me strength, or does it tend to constrain me?
- Choose consciously: Mark the values you actively affirm today from your own experience. These are your 'real' values.
- Realign: If you notice a value (e.g., success) has become too narrow for you, reformulate it in a way that feels right for your current life.
- Alignment check: Look at your refined list and ask yourself: Does my current daily life reflect these consciously chosen values?
- Your impulse for today: Choose a value from your list where you notice you're fulfilling it only to please others. What would change today if you set aside this expectation for a moment?
Note: Values are not set in stone. They are allowed to evolve alongside you. Releasing inherited values isn't a betrayal of your origins – it's a yes to your own identity.